That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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