About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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