i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
