He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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