Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
