when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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