Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
