i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
