At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
