Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
