there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
