I wish life had little blips of pornography
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
jump out the window naked night went bad
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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