I'm really into asian looking animals
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
