oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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