Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
