Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
