id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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