So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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