I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
