your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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