Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
