He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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