Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
