Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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