Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
