I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
