I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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