Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
