i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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