I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
God, I missed his penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize