I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
this is an emotional support booty call
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize