Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
