Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
