talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
