I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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