butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
