what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
