I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
