the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
