i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
