sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
