You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
3pm strippers are depressing
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
