Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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