He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
