your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
