Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
