She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
