We won't sleep together?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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