in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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