at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
