Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize