JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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