i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
