Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
