some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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