I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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