wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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