This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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