so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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