Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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